Love Stoppers – Complaints and Excuses

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

Love Stoppers are limiting beliefs that keep you from finding and keeping love. They are the viruses that infect your mind, making all of your positive affirmations ineffective until you get serious and make the decision to get rid of them.

You have been searching for Mr. Right for such a long time that you are beginning to lose hope. You have learned the art of flirting, created your checklist of your ideal man, and put yourself out there to attract the man for you. Still, you are alone. What else could be going on? Have you checked your attitude about dating?

Here are some things my single clients say to me frequently:

I am not picky; I just have very high standards.

I am better off alone.

If there is no chemistry, you got nothing.

I always seem to attract creepy loser types.

Dating is just not worth it.

Dating is too hard.

The revelation to my clients is that they carry these same types of attitudes in all areas of their lives. For example: a woman who says she has very high standards may be the one who returns her food at a restaurant every single time she eats out. She may complain when she stays at a hotel, asking that her room be changed because of something minor that is wrong. She can always find fault with something. She is the co-worker who always gets stuck in the worst traffic jams. Notice a pattern here?

Here is another example: a woman who says dating is too hard may also tell you she tried to get in shape but it was too difficult to stick to the routine. She tried to lose weight, but the plan was impossible to follow. She would go to your party, but the drive is too long. She is not willing to make an effort and would rather complain that she is lonely and that she wishes she had a good man.

When you hold onto these attitudes, you get in your own way of finding a man of quality. You fill up your day with excuses and complaints about why you cannot find a good man. If you want to find happiness in a relationship, start looking at the excuses and complaints that are holding you back.

Listen to yourself as you talk. Is what you are saying a love stopper? Is it true? Or is it an excuse or a complaint? Resolve to change the way you talk about your love life. It could mean the difference between continuing to pine away as a lonely single woman and finding happiness with the right match for you.

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A Car Brake Repair Primer

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

The security of your car is vital, whether it is a Mercedes or a Mazda – even the safest vehicle on earth can have brake failure. If your car’s brakes don’t work properly, the consequences could be fatal. Thus, the brakes are probably the most important part of your vehicle. Car brake repair knowledge is always good to have because you never know if or when your car’s brake system will let you down. If this happens while you’re driving let’s say in the desert, miles away from the nearest garage, you should be able to

Perform a brake inspection and troubleshoot the problem

Know what it takes to do a car brakes repair

If possible, do the fix yourself

If not, be able to describe the problem to someone who is able to repair your automobile brakes.

To become able to perform the work listed above, the first thing you need to know is how a car’s brake system works.

A drum system is utilizing hydraulic pressure to press a pad against a brake drum to slow down the speed of the vehicle. Here is how it works:

press the brake pedal

the piston in the master cylinder sends pressure via the brake lines held by the brake shoe to the wheel cylinders inside the brake drum

the friction caused by the shoe pressed against the drum is stopping the wheel from turning

A brake drum is a flat-topped and heavy cylinder, that you normally find somewhere between the wheel rim and the drive wheel. When you press the brake pedal, the friction material held by the brake shoes is pressed against the brake drum. This will slow the rotation of the wheels. A wheel cylinder contains pistons utilizing hydraulic power from the master cylinder to force the brake pads against the brake drum.

Another brake system, called disk brake system is using hydraulic pressure to press a pad against the rotor. This way it slows down the vehicle. Here is how it works:

press the brake pedal

the piston in the master cylinder is activated and sends pressure via the brake lines to the calliper

when the pad makes contact with the rotor, friction is created and this stops the wheel from turning

A rotor is nothing but a circular plate that is gripped by the brake pads for slowing down the vehicle. A brake pad is a pad made of friction material. When pressed against the rotor it stops the wheel from turning. This pad is held by the calliper, which straddles the rotor by using hydraulic pressure from the brake lines. With help from internal pistons it forces the brake pads against the rotors.

Performing this process, the breaking system needs brake fluid. The master cylinder provides this by distributing the brake fluid under pressure, to the entire breaking system of your vehicle.

The description above gives you the knowledge of how two different car brake systems work. These are the first things you need to know when troubleshooting and fixing any problems regarding your vehicle’s brakes. Brake problems can occur in a Cadillac, a VW or even in the safest vehicle brand. There are plenty free resources online which give you step by step instructions on fixing any brake problems that your vehicle may incur. I recommend that you go online and do a search for ‘car auto brake repair’. You’ll be amazed of the list of brake fix resources that will appear within seconds.

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3D Computer Graphics And How To Make Them

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

There are a number of ways to generate or make 3D computer graphics. Before we discuss how to make 3D computer graphics let us consider what they are and their beginnings. 3D animation has been around since the beginning of motion pictures. They were first used in the early films as “King Kong” and even earlier films such as The Humpty Dumpty Circus (1897). The movie King Kong (1933) is distinguished for its stop-motion animation. This is a form of 3D animation. When creating this type of animation the objects or characters that appear in the motion picture are moved in small increments. Each increment is photographed. each increment represents a frame in the film, and when played in a continuous sequence the illusion of motion is achieved. Clay figures were often used in this early 3D animation technique. This was often called “clay-mation”.

3D Computer graphics like any 3D animation, gives the illusion that characters are in a three 3D world, which is how we view our world. They look like they are in a space which includes length, width and depth. When being generated by a computer program, geometric data is used to produce the effect of three dimensions. Of course earlier 3D animation such as stop-motion, did not use computers to produce this effect. They relied on the clay figures to produce the 3D effect.

Today animators use 3D computer animation software to produce many of the special effects we see in movies. In fact there are many movies that have been produced they have been completely generated by various computer animation programs. One such example is the film “Ice Age”. This was a highly successful film and was released in 2002 by 20th Century Fox.

3D computer graphics are created by using 3D animation software. This is how these graphics are created in today’s world. There are many software packages to choose from. There are many commercial packages available, as well as free packages you can use. Each of these software packages will offer their our unique features and many will have common features found in other packages. If you are interested in creating 3D animation there are many ways to start. If you are new to the animation process it is recommended you begin with a program that is easy to learn and can generate basic, but high-end graphics. You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to create high-end 3D animation. You just need to get access to the software that is affordable and can produce the results you are looking for.

Best Regards.

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The Decision to Love

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present.

~M. Scott Peck M.D.

The subject of love is a knife edge. We all have a choice to love emotionally – as the feeling takes us, or the easy way – or volitionally, which is far harder, but is where the real truth of love exists.

Love is essentially about the discipline of commitment.

In a triangle with intimacy and passion, commitment underpins both of these. Where there is commitment, intimacy can be reborn, and with ingenuity passion can be reignited.

The world is a simple world and God is a fairly simple God. We are the ones that complicate it. The truth is the simplicity of commitment can endure every other thing. Commitment and love, therefore, in this discussion, are basically synonymous – one and the same. As love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8), commitment also never fails; not if we remain committed. Commitment only fails when we give up. We’ve all experienced this. (This is nothing about abuse or neglect – for those, the requirements of commitment are made null and void.)

IN MARRIAGES, FAMILIES, WORKPLACES, IN THE COMMUNITY – EVERYWHERE

When we consider that the ‘romantic’ phase of relationships – a phase not just unique to romantic relationships – lasts a relatively short time, we can see the compelling reasons for commitment. It’s really the only way that relationships last.

The principle of commitment is required in all relationships; not just the marital variety. Commitment is required if our relationships are to succeed. Being that all of life depends on the success of our relationships, this is an important consideration if we wish to be happy.

Further, the resolve of commitment is a love that will take us further than our human reason.

ALLOWING GOD TO TAKE US BEYOND OUR ‘REASON’

(“Reason,” here, is about our human thinking; that which assists us to make decisions.)

Here is a test for each of us. This test takes us to the end of ourselves; the beginning of God.

Often God wants to talk to us here – at the end of our reason. Where reason exists and is satisfied often commitment doesn’t have a chance; we’ve already decided we need to have things our way; we cannot remain in such ‘untenable’ situations. (Again, this is nothing about abuse or neglect – for those, the requirements of commitment are made null and void.)

When we allow God to take us beyond our reason, submitting issues to him in prayer, and seeking the will of God in truth, we will hear how our commitment can be buoyed. We will hear how to get through the next hour, the next day – through the problems that persist just now.

Deciding to love is indeed the secret of a happy life. This is centralised in the idea of commitment. Those who can understand and accept this will have the abundant life.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

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Single In The City – 8 Great Places to Meet Someone New

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

Meeting someone new is actually a lot easier than it may seem. The world is literally a well-spring of many possibilities to be discovered. However, you have to believe YOU (the product) are incredible. You cannot carry any hint of desperation or your attempts will be futile. You just need to be open to the possibility of meeting new people, without any expectations. Learn how to make small talk. This is essential! And always take care of your appearance. You never know when someone may be giving you a second glance.

FOR WOMEN LOOKING TO MEET MEN

1. Church – Possibly the best place to meet someone, especially if you engage in community events, outside of church service.

2. Gym – This is literally a meat market. It is the day version to the bar scene, especially if you go after work hours. Don’t be afraid to check out the free weight areas, especially the bench press station, that seems to be where most men will eventually make their way to.

3. Electronic Store – A place like Best Buy has all the makings for a “Man Cave.” On any given day, you will find more men in an electronic store than females. Most importantly, they will linger for a long time in this venue… ample time to make eye contact, small chat and help him pick out his Man Cave duds.

4. Airport – This might also be a strong day contender to the gym, as another meat market. People are super friendly, nosey and have plenty of time to kill. Ladies, this a perfect example of you never know who you might meet, so always look sharp while travelling and be sure to carry yourself with confidence but approachable. Also, if you can visit the lounge area of an airline. It’s literally 1 woman to 50 men in the lounge. It could feel like you are a woman in China… that’s how good your odds are.

5. Bookstore – A great place to get an understanding of people’s interest. A book can tell a lot about someone. However, try to stay away from the “Self-Help” section on this outing.

6. Sporting Store – Say no more.

7. Sporting Event (i.e. NHL or NBA game) – Men and sports go together like peanut butter and jam. Pretty much at any testosterone pumping sporting event, you are guaranteed to be the minority. My suggestions know a little a bit about the teams playing before picking your outing. Also, dress the part, while managing to look fabulous.

8. Coffee Shop – The coffee shop is a sure place to meet new people. People are really friendly in this environment for some reason, and eager to engage in short conversations. Also, if you look up from your book every now and then you might catch the eye of glancing stranger, possibly checking you out for the last hour.

FOR MEN LOOKING TO MEET WOMEN

1. Church – Possibly the best place to meet someone, especially if you engage in community events, outside of church service.

2. Gym – This is literally a meat market. I can attest to being in the change room and seeing women primping themselves as they are about to begin working out. The gym is the day version to the bar scene, especially if you go after work hours. Don’t be afraid to use manly machine exercise equipment. Women tend to use these equipments more than the free weights.

3. Supermarket – Say no more. Especially, if you linger in the fruits and vegetable sections. However, do not attempt to talk to a woman in the feminine protection aisle. That could be awkward.

4. Airport – This might also be a strong day contender to the gym, as another meat market. People are super friendly, nosey and have plenty of time to kill. Your job is to make small talk while you wait for your flight. Even if you are an elite traveler with lounge access it’s better to spend your time outside of the lounge. Fewer women may be found in the lounge area.

5. Bookstore – Bookstore – A great place to get an understanding of people‘s interest. A book can tell a lot about someone. However, try to stay away from the “Self-Help” section on this outing.

6. Mall – Great place for men, but, do not go into Victoria Secret and act as if you are shopping for your sister. Perhaps, a better alternative is to walk by Victoria Secret and catch women as they are leaving or entering.

7. Salon – Say no more. A haven for women and a place where open conversations are as common as nail polish. Don’t be afraid to go to a salon to get a pedicure. GUARANTEED to engage in a long conversation with an attractive woman…. GUARANTEED! Plus, we women enjoy seeing the rare appearance of a man in a salon!

8. Coffee Shop – The coffee shop is a sure place to meet new people. People are really friendly in this environment for some reason, and eager to engage in short conversations. Also, if you look up from your book every now and then you might catch the eye of glancing stranger, possibly checking you out for the last hour.

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7 Rules of Successful Myspace Music Promotion

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

In a very short time, Myspace.com has become the hottest music promotional tool available to anyone. Here are the 7 rules of successful myspace music promotion.

1. Get a myspace.com music page.

Getting a myspace.com music page is free so there is no reason not to have one.

2. Make sure your page is user friendly.

There are many would-be music business professionals who have myspace pages take too long to load. If your myspace page loads too slow, you could be losing potential fans. Mega bandwidth graphics and images will prevent your page from loading quickly. Your myspace page should take no longer than 20 – 30 seconds to load.

Many artists on myspace use layouts that emphasize their creativity but are a nightmare to navigate. Refrain from using dancing cursor’s, raining text, and distracting images on your myspace music pages.

Other myspace artists have about me blurbs that go on forever. Keep about me blurbs short (no more than 1000 words), if people want to know more about you, they will ask.

3. Have your music on your myspace page.

Don’t put someone else’s music on your myspace page unless you were involved in the creation of the music. How can you be discovered if your music isn’t on your page?

4. Reach out for friends.

Networking on myspace is one of the most powerful tools you can use to build your fan-base. Take advantage of the opportunity to reach people with like interests. Never ignore or decline a friend request. You never know who can help your career.

5. Treat your friends like friends.

Common courtesy applies on myspace just as in real life. Be willing to thank your friends for adding you as a friend. Respond to friend’s emails (if appropriate). Never post your ad as a comment on someone’s myspace page without acknowledging them. Limit the size of your “ad comments”.

6. Promote yourself in appropriate ways.

Noteworthy career benchmarks, or new music added to your page are good reasons to promote yourself on myspace. List your performance dates on your page and use bulletins to let people know where you are performing. Limit the number of bulletins you post. Posting irrelevant bulletins, or posting bulletins too often, will force your friends to ignore you.

Let people know about your myspace.com page. Putting your unique myspace.com address on your website and business cards will make it convenient for you to build your network and fan base faster.

7. Provide ways for people to purchase your music from your myspace page.

If you sell your music anywhere online make sure there is a direct link from your myspace page to the location where people can buy your music.

Follow our rules and you will have fun and make many friends on Myspace.

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Old Habits Die Hard – The Rule of Five

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

When we are single for way too long, we fill our time never to feel alone, never to feel without use, never to feel without importance. Hence work, family, friends and “me” time all together become our top priorities. We don’t even notice that, although we do wish to date and find someone special, we have shot ourselves in the foot by packing our life and times to the full. Then a person of interest comes along and we come to realise that we have to somehow squeeze them in among the many activities, obligations, commitments and rituals that we have saturated our life with. And that’s hard work. But it cannot be done without. This person would want a chunk of our time, would want a chunk of us and every now and again, would want some “prime time” like a whole weekend, for example!! And that’s where many of us fail. We just can’t let this person in to our life. We just can’t get away from who we got used to being. We have four major priorities, where can we fit in a fifth one? And in what order? What should we give up on?

Some of us succeed, though, realising that work is a thrill only if the fruits of it can be shared, that friends no longer have all the time in the world for us but hurry to their loved ones, that family keeps patting us on the back with compassion and that “me” time, always alone with a book in the bath tub resonates loneliness. And that’s when we start taking tiny steps towards change…Because change starts within us.

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Why Kawasaki Fairings Are So Important

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

Kawasaki fairings are usually available for use on the Kawasaki motorcycle and come in a variety of different styles, such as: full, half and quarter. Like any other motorcycle, it is important to equip Kawasaki motorcycles with fairings to protect both the cycle and their riders against the forces of exterior aerodynamics.

How does this all happen? The engine and rider are shielded from wind by these fairings. They also facilitate the bike’s use of natural aerodynamic forces by reducing drag and protecting the driver through use of the windscreen. This enables the fairing to provide a protective environment and enhance the bike’s functionality.

Another important aspect of the fairings on Kawasaki models is that they have the capability to provide some form of protection to the engine and chassis. What does this imply? It means that should an accident occur and there is a motorcycle crash, there will be minimal body damage. For instance, in the unfortunate event that the motorcycle slides after it has made impact with another object such as the tarmac, it will not be the engine sliding on the tarmac but the fairings.

While installing the fairings, the belly pan type, which is a combination of quarter and half form fairings, is regularly used. The two fairings are often paired just below the engine with the purpose of diverting airflow occurring below the engine progressively. As a result, this leads to a reduction in the aerodynamic lift. Some cyclists also argue that belly pans are important during the process of harnessing leaking fluids from the engine.

Among the best fairings for Kawasaki are the ninja styles, which are known worldwide for their durability and flashy designs. The Kawasaki ninja motorcycle model ensures superior aerodynamics through a careful and masterful design of the bike’s body and design.

To perpetuate the stability and durability of any Kawasaki motorcycle, one must ensure that you have the correct type of ninja fairing bolts-check also to make sure everything is in proper position before using the bike. Though many ninja fairing bolts are available on the market, it is advisable to choose one that is original and compatible with the structure of your particular motorcycle model.

Though the market is flooded with counterfeit ninja fairings, it is important to consider the purchase of original products, as this will provide you the assurance that they will last and provide better protection for both you and your motorcycle. However, original ninja fairings normally cost more than the counterfeit ones and are more difficult to come by.

Before settling for ninja fairings of less quality, you must keep in mind that should anything occur during a ride, fairing bolts are the first line of protection for you and your bike. As such, always remember that your desired fairings should be easy to maintain and provide you with the full protection necessary for your kind of riding. Your choice of fairing should also ensure that your Kawasaki motorcycle is able to maintain high speed and optimized performance. Only then, will you be able to fully appreciate the importance of Kawasaki fairings.

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If Your Partner Is Abusive

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

In my work as a marriage and family therapist, I am often asked to define abusive behavior. In this day and age the label “abuse” is sometimes misunderstood. I’m including a checklist edited from Victim Services of New City, New York to help you ascertain the degree of violence in your life.

Abusive conduct is rooted in the need to control another person through the use of force or coercion. It is an abuse of power. It can be physical (violent), psychological (threatening) or economically offensive and controlling behavior. With time it always gets worse.

Ask: him: Do you think you have a right to employ such behavior in order to gain compliance to your point of view? A “yes” indicates danger since s/he feels entitled to manipulate and tyrannize others. To the partner or victim, ask: Do you think your partner is justified in adopting such techniques? Have you ever experienced other relationships where you find yourself to be in the role of victim or abuser?

As a victim, it’s really challenging to get mobilized because your self-esteem has been seriously damaged. Do something nice for yourself, and get some help: N.O.W., hospitals, psychotherapists, and various hotlines offer assistance. As the abuser, you can begin by taking responsibility for your behavior, and then get the help you can immediately, before you seriously injure someone. Begin by systematically eliminating one behavior at a time. Remember, no matter how bad things might be, you can always change if you are truly motivated and committed.

In the check list that follows, circle each behavior that you have utilized or been victimized by in the past six months. The greater the number of items that have been circled, the higher the danger level of abuse existing and increasing, in a particular relationship. Whether you are victim or perpetrator, you are not helpless to change your situation.

Physical Violence

1. slap, punch, grab, kick, choke, push, restrain, pull hair, pinch, bite

2. rape (use of force, threats or coercion to obtain sex)

3. use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten others, throwing things or damaging things.

4. intimidation: standing in doorway during arguments, angry or threatening gestures, use of size to intimidate, standing over you/him/her, out shouting, driving recklessly.

5. threats: verbal, nonverbal, direct, indirect

6. isolation (preventing or making it difficult for you/her/him to seek or talk to friends, relatives or others).

Psychological and Economic Abuse

1. yelling, swearing, being lewd, raising voice, using angry expressions or gestures, embarrassing you/him/her in public

2. criticism: name-calling, swearing, mocking, put downs, ridicule, accusations, blaming, use of trivializing words or gestures

3. sulking, threatening to withhold financial support, manipulating the children, abusing feelings

4. interrupting, changing topics, not listening, not responding, twisting your/his/her words

5. economic coercion: withholding money, the car or other resources, sabotaging your/her/his attempts to work

6. lying, withholding information, infidelity

7. withholding help on: child care, housework, financial matters; not doing your/his/her share, failing to follow through on your agreements

8. failure to pay attention, absence of compliments, failure to respect your/his/her feelings, opinions and rights

9. abusing yourself: excessive use of drugs or alcohol, not asking for help or support, failure to maintain a healthy lifestyle, being a “people pleaser,” secretive.

All the best,

Dr. Rita.

http://www.RitaCanHelp.com

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Shades of Gray

Posted on November 22, 2011 by nlhumilan

Well, it was probably winter – no, it was definitely winter. And, it was really freezing. I certainly remember the day especially because it was raining a lot. Did you ever see rain in winter? It’s spectacular. And the breeze that was passing by definitely added a feeling of extra chill.

As usual, I was hanging out with friends after a basketball game. It was afternoon around 4p.m. We had a match, but actually, none of us felt like playing. There weren’t a few people – surprisingly many people came to watch the game. Probably because Sameer was playing – at least that’s why all the girls came all the way to watch a usual basketball game. Oh okay, I didn’t introduce you to Sameer yeah? Sameer is one of those good looking guys that you must have a second look at. A very fair complexion, and long straight highlighted hair which come down over his eyes, and an overall sharp outlook makes this macho guy a Greek God to every girl in town. Sameer got everything that a girl wants. A fancy convertible, lot of money to have a date anywhere he wants, one of those newest cell phone that has features that even our country can’t support and of course popularity. Well, that day he was talking to us with a lot of attention, usually he’s always busy with girls after the game. But that’s when Sara saw him.

Sara – my very old friend; back in school, we used to share our lunch. Our friendship was more than anything else. She came to see me playing, but she never regretted that day, because she got to meet the love of her life – or at least that’s how it was to her. Sara is one of those practical, fashionable modern teenagers of twenty-first century. Oh well, you guys are thinking what am I supposed to say now – Sara is extremely pretty looking girl? Well, no. That’s not how it is. Sara is prettier than you can think of. When she walks down the lane, every guy stares at her for as long as possible; when she used to enter the class, the class would go silent just to look at her. You rarely see a girl naturally so pretty around you. But that was not the best part about her. Her beauty was nothing comparing to her heart.

In fact, I think Sara had the biggest heart in the world. She was never late in helping someone even though he or she was a complete stranger. I recall once Sara punched this guy in 6th grade guy just because he was teasing me. Oh, I’m so stupid. I forgot to tell you people about me. Well, this will be boring. I’m one of those guys who are as common as possible. In fact, there was really nothing special about me. I was serious about studies, but never did really good. That reminds me I used to help Sara a lot. And she never stopped thanking me for all that. I loved playing basketball. And that’s how I made a lot of friends in life. But life never had a direction for me, and that’s why Sara would always tell me to get serious – I wish I really had listened to her. I saw a lot of cool people around, but it seemed so vague to me. What is the whole point of being so smart, when it sounds so stupid to me? May be that’s why I never go to be elegant enough.

Sara pointed at Sameer, and asked me who he was.

“Who? The tall guy? – That’s Sameer!”

“Sameer? Okay… cute guy…”

“Yeah, I know! Wanna meet him?” “Hey Sameer! Dude can you give me a minute?”

“Sameer, this is my very old pal, Sara” “Sara, this is Sameer…”

Sara was even my friend when my sister was born. Well, that’s back in 2nd grade actually. She used to come to study in my place. My mom taught both of us from childhood. So, it was almost like family. The day after my sister was born; she and her mom came to the hospital and brought all these gifts for her. I was happy for my sister, but I was really pissed at Sara. I got so pissed, that I didn’t even talk to her. Sara got to know I was mad at her, because she didn’t bring anything for me. She came and said sorry, I said I won’t ever talk to her. She almost began to cry. So I couldn’t help admitting I obviously will. We were kids back then, but we promised each other to be best friends forever.

“How come you didn’t tell me you know such a hot looking guy?”

“Yeah, all the girls are crazy for him…”

“No wonder….”

Sara got to know Sameer. Their friendship started from that very day. After almost two or three weeks, they started going out. Sameer asked Sara out, and the news was almost everywhere. Truly they looked like they were made for each other. They are so unique, so eye catching.

In my childhood, the best thing about my birthday was I get to decorate a room with balloon and all those stuffs. From days before I would plan for this. But, on the day of decoration, I would never be alone. Sara has to be there. She would come early in morning, and we two start blowing balloons and do all the decorations. I would never start without her. And it was the same for cutting the cake.

As long as I’m not in Sara’s party, or Sara is not in mine, we would never cut the cake. There was once when she left home after decorating my place, and after waiting almost for an hour I cut the cake; Sara came late and when see saw I had already blown the candles without her she was really sad. She went home and cried that night. Her mom told my mom, and that’s how I got to know. So the next day I had another birthday party where we cut the cake, blew the candles – and even Sara was there. From those days even after we got older, Sara never forgot my birthday, and the first call I would get is from Sara on my ever birthday. I wasn’t any less; I would always mark the date on calendar and always make sure I get to wish her on her birthday as well. We would not tell each other before, just to check if we do really remember each others’ birthdays.

Sara’s mom doesn’t really let her out with too many friends. But this one guy she would trust is me. And that’s why I was the only one who could help her. Sameer wanted Sara to always make it for long time, and she had trouble doing so. So, most of the times I had to take her with me, and make her meet Sameer. Only thing that I was scared about was her mom to suspect she was going out with me. When I used to take her to Sameer, she would ask me a million times if she’s looking okay. I used to find that so weird, because I never recalled a day when she was not looking okay. Sara never wanted to be late, because Sameer hated to wait. But once she was really tardy. It was actually because of me. I didn’t have a car, and that day I couldn’t find anything on time to pick Sara up. So I was almost half an hour late, moreover, the traffic made it worse. Sameer left, and later they had a huge fight. I felt so guilty because it was for me. Sara called me at night the same day, and told me how irresponsible I was, and because of me, she’s going through all this. Sameer stopped talking to her for a few days; so I decided to talk to Sameer and clarify everything myself.

On 7th grade, Sara and I got separated because we both went to different sections. So I didn’t have anyone to share my lunch with. But, you know Sara, she always figures something out. So we decided in break time we’d always meet in one specific place. I couldn’t believe classes can get so boring without a good friend. So I couldn’t wait to hear the bell for the break time every single day in my class. We would meet precisely at 11-05am. And both of us always used to rush as soon as the bell rang. Sara once got a detention for being talkative in class and she had to stay inside the class at the break time for one entire week. That was one of the times, I felt really sad. I never felt so alone before, and I knew what her closeness meant to me. I don’t know how Sara used to feel when she didn’t get to talk to me, but then again, after the school finished, everyday she would meet me for at least 5 minutes and we had so much to talk about at the end of the day. Although we were in separate sections, but we would talk about what happened in school all day. Sometimes I wouldn’t even care what she is saying, as long as I could feel her presence, I always used to be so blissful to see her. Maybe it was all because of her charisma.

Sameer accepted my confession. But that wasn’t everything. Sameer didn’t like Sara mixing with me so much. He had a feeling, I know her more than anyone, and he couldn’t stand it. I didn’t know all that; in fact I didn’t even know what Sameer told Sara that night; but I could guess, when I had her phone call. It was around 3a.m. and I really don’t expect calls that late at night; so I was surprised to see Sara calling me.

“You awake?”

“Well, I am now! So since when did you start missing me at 3 o’clock in the morning?”

“Funny! Listen, get serious, I need to talk about some stuffs with you”

“Okay, and I have this feeling it’s not good…”

“Umm… well, I don’t know how to put this, but well Sameer doesn’t want me to talk to you anymore…”

I really can’t recall what she said after that. But well, she decided that if Sameer determined that, she could do that much for him. Nevertheless, she loves him, so Sameer has the rights, he must have the importance. Well, what can I say? I thanked her for being free with me, and to let me know all this. So I determined to keep my distance. But I didn’t think that moment what I have really decided – I didn’t give it a thought how hard it could be without a person who has been my best friend since childhood.

Sara’s dad bought her a car when she was in 10th grade, and she learned to drive. It’s kind of funny, but I learnt to drive from her. Every evening she would take me with her, and showed me how to drive. I loved it. My dad can’t afford me a car, but Sara knew how much crazy I was about cars from my childhood. Tiny little cars were my birthday gift that I always got from her when I was a kid. And when I used to hold the steering of her, I could feel the electricity passing through my body. Nothing was more exciting to me, than to drive, and this dream could never come true without her. Sara’s parents knew that she was training me how to drive, so even though I dent her car a few times, her dad was okay with it. In fact, he would rather scream at Sara that she is not a good instructor.

I called to wish Sara on her birthday, and she invited me to come at her place. She even added that, she asked Sameer, and he’s okay with it; so I don’t have to be anxious. Sara’s favorite gift was chocolates. As always, I took some for her. This was the first time, I was going to meet her, and was thinking if I look all right. Sara now has a lot of friends; most of them are unknown to me. I figured they were Sameer’s friends. Sara came to me as she saw me. It was months since I saw her last, and couldn’t take my eyes off her. She seemed like more attractive to me. She showed me her new cell phone that Sameer gave her as a birthday gift, it’s made of Titanium. She was really excited, and storing all the numbers. Well, I was asked for number too, but then Sara recalled I don’t carry one. Everyone was telling each other, how sweet Sameer was, and Sara must be really proud to have him. I kind of felt introverted showing her I got only chocolates for her, so I left that with the other gifts on table, so she can have a look at that later herself. Although she seemed really busy, I had a chance to talk to her. So I asked how come she forgot to wish me on my last birthday.

“Oh c’mon… we’re not kids anymore! You know I’ve been a bit busy. And it’s not like I forgot, but I was out with Sameer till very late at night, so couldn’t manage to call! Later, I thought you’d figure, so didn’t bother. I’m sorry though…”

Well, I could understand. So I smiled back at her saying, “That’s okay…”

Oh, I almost forgot my story. So where was I? Oh yeah, a really freezing winter morning. Well, I was out for an exam that I was having in my university. I was walking my way back home, and I just noticed this red sports car in front of my house. You know I’m always crazy about cars, so I ran to it. It’s the hottest BMW Z-4. I didn’t expect to see one on Dhaka; but more than that what concerned me is what is it doing in front of my house? So I rushed inside my house, and my mom told me that Sara and Sameer were here. I ran to the living room. Sara turned back hearing my footsteps,

“Hey! Where have you been busy man?”

“Oh c’mon, I went to the university – what you forgot that?”

“Hmm… big boy!”

She kept smiling and came close to me.

I have not seen her so much glad for a very long time, so I was thinking what could be the reason.

“So here it is… finally!”

She handed me a very trendy invitation card.

“What is it? Some big news?”

“Bigger than you can think! – Sameer and I are getting married!”

“Oh my god – really? That is so awesome!”

They stayed for a few more minutes; she said she will be getting married to Sameer in a month. And also decided to move to Sheffield, a city in Northern England; Sameer’s dad has some business there which Sameer will now take care of. Sara was sad when she was leaving, she said she would come to talk tome the next evening, as we have become so far apart.

Did I tell you about our favorite place? It was our rooftop, from where we could see the entire sky. And that’s where I was with her, that night. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with her watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what she was going to do. I looked into her eyes and listened to her talking about what her dream was. How she wanted to get married and settle down. She said how she wanted to be complete and successful. All I could do was to tell her my dream and cuddle next to her. She went home and I didn’t tell her how I was feeling. I thought of it that night and figured I was just a friend. All through school life and even through all these days we’re always together and of course, I thought of it as being friends. But I knew that I didn’t even want to confess to myself that deep inside that I really felt differently.

I wanted to tell her so badly that I loved her but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go; I didn’t know if I should be happy that I got her as a friend in my life, or should I be sad if that’s all I had. I know that I could never be with her and that we could only be friends. I remembered the good times that we had together. Today, I can only use these words to express what was really in my heart, things that I could never tell her. Maybe real love is only felt when you lose that someone that you love more than yourself. It’s a long road in front of me, and I have to face it alone, the hand that I used to hold, won’t be there anymore. I always realized she is there, standing right behind, only knowing, she is not so far behind. I wish tonight, that I was in her arms, and she was telling me we’d always be alright.

The boundaries between friendship and love is defined by such credibility that I did not have; but then again was it really my fault that I fell in love?

I never realized how to live on myself, until that night. I loved her like no other person; may be I didn’t want much of anything; but, the one thing I needed from her was for her to always be there. The hardest thing to do for me was to be beside her all the time, looking at her knowing that she won’t ever be mine.

Remember me when you are gone, far to the beyond, away from me. A journey I cannot go with you on, even though you are going for good. I wish I could be at Sameer’s place that day, I wish I never had to let you go. I have tried for tears not to fall from my eyes, at least not in front of you. Keep alive the beautiful times we share, and take it to heart that my love for you is ever sure.

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